1 Qorinthiym Chapter 13 (PSR)

1. ¶ If I speak in all the languages of the sons of 'Âthâ´m and of the envoys, but do not have affectionate love, I have become a roaring brass bell or a clanging cymbal.

2. Even if I possess predication, and discern all secrets and all of the knowledge, and if I possess all of the certainty so as to remove mountains, but do not have affectionate love, I mean nothing.

3. Even if I give away in food all of my possessions, or if I give over my body in order that I may be burned, but do not have affectionate love, I am profited nothing!

4. Affectionate love suffers long, demonstrates kindness; affectionate love is not envious; affectionate love does not boast of itself, is not haughty,

5. It does not act inappropriately, it isn't selfish, is not incited to rage, doesn't keep a record of wrongs,

6. It does not rejoice at the injustice, and rejoices with the Truth!

7. It withstands all things, trusts all things, hopes all things, and endures all things,

8. Affectionate love never drops out. Now whether there are predictions, they shall be rendered obsolete; whether there are languages, they shall cease [TsphanYâ´hu 3: 9 ]; whether there is knowledge, it shall be rendered useless [YirmYâ´huw 31: 33-34];

9. For we partially know, and we partially predicate,

10. But when the Perfected One might come, then that which is partial shall be rendered useless.

11. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child; but when I became a man, I did away with these childish things!

12. For we see Him in enigmas through a mirror right now, but then, face to Face! Right now I partially know Him, but then I shall know Him just as also I have been known!

13. For then, just these three things remain: belief, hope, and affectionate love; and the greatest of these is affectionate love.

The Truth about Marriage

Disclaimer:

You are responsible for your own marriage, not us.  This page contains scripture-consistent detailed advice about marriage and how to succeed in it by being obedient to Yâ-hwéh and centering on Him.  To use this information properly you must be honest in applying it to your situation, or you may categorize yourself mistakenly and err.  We are not responsible for your errors in misusing this correct information.  We personally do not play matchmaker, we respectfully decline that task, only Yâ-hwéh does this, and one must make sure its Him Who brought you someone.

 

How and why Yâ-hwéh made it begin:

Glad Tidings of Phílippos 76. (71) When Chauwâ´h was still within ’Âthâ´m, death did not exist.  When she was separated from him, death came into existence.  When she reenters, he again shall become complete,and he will receive his own and attain his former self, death shall exist no more.

Death was empowered over ’Âthâ´m when he disobeyed, but it was conceived by the mind of Yâ-hwéh when He made preparations for it, preparing a system for human reproduction to prevent his extinction  [Chanówkh 15: 3-5]. Look at what Yâ-hwéh told Chanówkh to tell the envoys who left their station to take human wives and procreate giants (bullies) about why He gave wives to humans but not to the envoys:

Chanówkh 15: 5 ‘Therefore have I given to them [those who die and perish (v.4)]wives, that they might impregnate them and to procreate sons from them and so that they might not be absent upon the earth.

So marriage must end when the union is restored as above (Phílippos 76), when the division of Yâ-hwéh's Union is also restored, when Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` sits upon the throne of His Honor (the Father), when death is destroyed and we will enter into the New Heavens and New Earth.

Luwqá' 20:34-36 and MattithYâ´huw 22: 30 "The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage.  For those deemed entirely deserving to reach that age with the [second] resurrection which is from among the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, for neither can they die any more, rather they exist as the envoys of the mighty Ones in the heavens, and are Sons of Yâ-hwéh, being sons of the Resurrection."

Therefore human to human marriage is the union which will never be able to exceed the carnal sense (Phílippos 110).

110. The Union from there is not one or the other; rather both are One and the same.  But the union from here is that one which never will be able to exceed the carnal sense.

Why is male human to female human marriage not forever and only carnal?  Aren’t the things of Yâ-hwéh forever?

Human to human marriage is a temporary carnal foreshadow of the Union between us and Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`, permitted because of death to let humanity not die out from the earth, while we await the rebirth into new incorruptible bodies.  And when we have immortality, we will not be given in marriage again, we will be like the envoys.

Since carnal human to human marriage is not forever, this means it is not Yâ-hwéh’s original plan, nor is an eternal institution established by Yâ-hwéh.  What IS from Yâ-hwéh are the uncorrupted bodies we were given before the fall, which we who believe on Him by name are being given again for our new garment, a spiritual body.  But these material bodies made of dust are not made by Yâ-hwéh, else they would be eternal and incorruptible.  These material and obviously corruptible mortal dirt-bodies were made by sâtâ´n, who with his hosts make them to house themselves and this is why mankind gets infested with evil spirits.

The creation and fall account was the very altered by the Jews in the Masoretic text the establishment translations are made from.  The true content of these passages in 1 Moshéh (“Genesis”) is concealed in code, and is decoded from morphologically analyzed Septuagint in our PSR scripture translation.  It concords and agrees with the accounts documented in the scripture codices, post-advent inspired noncanonical scriptures which the establishment refused to include and attempted to destroy.  The establishment dismisses them, calling these scriptures “gnostic”, and slandering them due to the stumbling which they do when attempting to read them without knowing His name, thus not having His spirit to teach them.  But to not create a tangent too deep for this page, we will simply provide here the implications of this decoded scripture, and how it influences the reality about marriage.

The flesh dirt body into which the archons have thrust us, also contains a carnal self the codices call the fiery one, it appears to manage the metabolic biological carnal duties of this body, and gives carnal drives such as the sexual one for reproduction.  And people who have not yet believed on the Truth are still serving sâtâ´n, and thus these are driven to reproduce to build the kingdom for sâtâ´n.  Thus his hosts, the archons, are the ones working to this aim, and they work the beds of nonbelievers.

A true believer, however, is told in scripture to crucify the flesh to obedience and to put to death the desires of the flesh, to not distract us from serving Yâ-hwéh.  So the believers who are single and strong for Yâ-hwéh should dedicate themselves to walking The Way of Yâ-hwéh in the spirit, and not to put to grief the spirit within us, by serving the flesh and its desires.  However, if a believer is inflamed sexually and threatens to become incontinent to sin sexually, he/she should marry a believer, it is not sin, but it is not as good.  Yes, we speak of marital sex as carnal and not as good an alternative as dedicating oneself entirely to Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`.  As for sexual sins such as adultery and others, these are only evil, and we are not speaking of this.

Therefore this verse, long cherished as proof of His designing carnal marriage, is actually very different when decoded [Yâ-hwéh speaking, as per MattithYâ´huw 19: 4-6]:

24. [as per the altered Masoretic]“On account of this shall an existent man (’iysh) forsake his father and his mother and he shall join with his woman (’ishshâ´h), and they shall be for a flesh united.

This is the correct rendition:

24. [decoded from LXXM] “On account of this an existent man (’iysh) shall not forsake of the Father His Son nor of the mother Yisrâ’Ë´l her Son, so Yisrâ’Ë´l shall join to all of Yisrâ’Ë´l with regard, not of the wife (’ishshâ´h), of his Son and they shall be ones not two belonging to My Yisrâ’Ë´l, a flesh united.

As you see, it does not speak of the same thing, and though not very understandable isolated as one verse, it becomes understandable when reading it in context.

What is Marriage?

The world has many opinions and traditions and practices about this, and even teaches children in schools that all of these are correct and they should accept them all. Isn't that saying the truth is relative to man's opinions? As if we were different species! Since we are all descended from one man and he was made by one Creator, there should be one true answer to this question. So how should one get their bearings and do what's right? How does one find out what is correct? By finding out from our Maker Who designed us, because the definition of Reality is Yâ-hwéh's point of view of it. And how do we find out how He sees it? Studying inspired scriptures. To do so effectively, one must first divest oneself of all their preconceived notions and engrained traditions before starting to study scriptures. In essence, start with a blank slate at square zero assuming nothing except that scriptures, when properly translated, are true and inspired, and being willing to change your mind if you encounter anything which proves your opinion to be mistaken.

On this page, we will discuss what well-translated scriptures say about what believers usually want to know about marriage, and we figure your pastor never understood most of these aspects about it to be able to teach it, otherwise he wouldn't be performing marriage ceremonies, right?

What do inspired scriptures say marriage is? In the case of marriage, first realize marriage in His sight (reality) is NOT a legal document, NOT a wedding dress, NOT a ceremony presided by some clergy, NOT vows taken, NOT rings, nor much less any same-sex pairs (Romans 1:26-27 PSR) as the world has been teaching us. Studying the scriptures in Deuteronomy 22:13-30 and 25:5-10 illustrates that marriage is a man taking a wife when it is a man having sexual intercourse with a virgin female consensually, or a widowed wife. Such a man who does this is ordered to not dismiss her all of his days (till death). It is contrasted with instances of when a man takes another man's wife, or when a virgin female is taken by force (rape), or when a betrothed virgin is taken consensually by a different man, or when the woman is secretly not a virgin (thus a man's wife) and taken by a man who is not her husband. These other instances are not marriage and are sins (errors) meriting death. So let's look at an example from scripture of how someone got married:

Yâshâr 24:44 - And Yitschâ´q took Rivqâ´h and she became his wife, and he brought her into the tent.

45 And Yitschâ´q was forty years old when he took Rivqâ´h, the daughter of his uncle Bthuw’Ë´l, for a wife.

OK, pop quiz! Did these get a marriage license? Did they go before a clergyman and get some ceremony done? Did she put on a white incredibly expensive dress and walk down the aisle? Did they take vows before witnesses? No! But this doesn't mean we are legislating these other things as being sins, because the Law doesn't forbid it, and we are aware of Yâhuwshúa` having attended a wedding party. But this scripture proves only two things need happen in order to take a wife: consensual sexual intercourse with a virginal female, followed by cohabiting permanently. Now indeed many of you single male believers may be wondering how will we hope to find a virginal female? Since they are off-limits by the laws in place until they are legally adults, when females routinely lose their physical virginities too early to know enough to keep it, by means of the wisdom gained from acknowledging His name.

Regeneration of virginity

2 Qorinthiym 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is within the Anointed, he is a new creation: the old things are passed away…look!  All things have become fresh,

"All things" include a female's virginity. So when and if a woman regains her virginity by believing on the name of Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`, as it says above, she should now decide to give herself only to the husband which Yâ-hwéh selected for her. The same applies to any man who begins to believe. But let us be clear here: the virginity of a male, though commonly spoken of today, is not a concept found in scripture. Rather, when a man believes and is within the Anointed, he has become dead to the flesh, thus his wife/past wives are released because his flesh has died. So then the marital law of the flesh was satisfied as the believer has died to the flesh when he/she believed and was conceived anew [Romans 7:6]. Therefore having a clean slate, this man should also decide to give himself only to the wife which Yâ-hwéh selected for him alone.

(Let us not now deal with the separate issue of a man's scriptural option for polygamy because it is not applicable to members of this time period's chosen remnant, because they are all Attendants who are limited to one wife.[1 Timotheos 3:12])

Understand that Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` would not pair us to marry a nonbeliever in His names, so one should stop and consider the following scripture:

About marriage to nonbelievers

2 Qorinthiym 6:14 ¶ Do not become differently yoked to unbelievers; for what participation does justification have with lawlessness?  And what partnership does Light have with darkness?

15. And what compatibility does the Anointed have with Bliyyá`al (worthlessness)?  Or what share for a believer is with an unbeliever?

So this means that a new believer, a female who becomes a renewed virgin by one's faith or a man who has just had his slate cleaned of women by virtue of his death to the flesh, should refrain from taking a spouse (having consensual sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite sex) who does not believe in His names.

If one is called to believe in Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` while married to a nonbeliever, one should stop sexual relations immediately and not take this nonbeliever again sexually until and unless the nonbeliever believes, so that if they will not believe, one still retains one's renewed virginity/clean slate and one should wait for Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` to bring one the believer spouse He had in mind for him/her. After the new believer makes an honest and adequate effort to persuade their spouse, if this spouse refuses to believe in His names also, the new believer should inform this nonbeliever who refuses to believe, that the marital relationship (the sexual relationship) is over, but as per 1 Qorinthiym 7 (see below), they are welcome to continue cohabiting as long as they like, that the believer will not leave them, yet while knowing that you, the new believer, are free to marry another believer in His name who Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` will bring to you. At that point, it is quite likely the nonbeliever may finally leave on his/her own.

1 Qorinthiym 7:12 - Yet to the Remnant, I say (not Yâ-hwéh): If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she will consent to dwell with him, let him not leave her.

13. And if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he will consent to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14. For the unpersuaded husband is purified by the wife who believes, and the unpersuaded woman is purified by the husband who believes; else then your children would be unclean, but now they are pure.

15. But if the unpersuaded one separates his/herself, let him separate his/herself.  The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, and Yâ-hwéh has called us for peace.

16. For what do you know, woman, if you should save your husband?  Or what do you know, o man, if you should save your wife?

17. Though the Power did not apportion it for each to be in that manner, each one Yâ-hwéh has called being in that manner, let him walk about in that manner, and thus I order all within the convocations.

These rules apply also if the believer made the choice of re-initiating sexual relations with the nonbeliever after converting. If the nonbeliever spouse leaves the believer (or dies), the believer is not under obligation to the nonbeliever, and is now released free to marry the believer who Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` intended for him/her and will put them together, whereas had the believer stopped sexual relations to preserve the regenerated virginity, the released believer could have taken the spouse which Yâ-hwéh brings immediately.

  1. Have you been bound to a woman?  Do not seek to be released.  Have you been released from a wife?  Do not seek a woman.
  2. Yet if you [~a released husband (v. 27)] may also have taken [~this same released (v. 27)] woman, you did not sin, or if you [~a released husband (v. 27)] might have married a virgin, she did not sin, but such shall have oppression by the ones of the flesh, but I am sparing you, [Contrast MattithYâ´huw 5: 32 and MattithYâ´huw 19: 9 for wives]

The oppression by the flesh in both cases of verse 28 refers to this:

1) a new believer who takes the wife he was released from by the death of his flesh from believing, will be oppressed by this nonbeliever wife in the now unequal yoke; and

2) a new believer who was released who marries a believer virgin will be oppressed by the carnal who wrongly condemn this action, including the nonbeliever ex-wife who refused to believe, especially if she is still choosing to stay in the household.

Please note that although what we speak of is scripturally correct and proven correct in the sight of Yâ-hwéh, this is difficult and dangerous territory which must be entirely correct in His sight, and everything done in Love, in full faith on both sides, with consideration and care, and everything done in His spirit, with His approval, or it will have trouble and could be very dangerous.

Some brothers and sisters among us who were called while married maintain marital relations with their spouse though they did not repent and believe in the Truth. We do believe, as 1 Qorinthiym 7 above states, that if the nonbeliever spouse consents to continue to cohabit with the believer until the Day Yâhuwshúa` returns, they might be saved, since they would be part of the house of the believer. However, as the Day gets nearer, it becomes more and more likely that the nonbeliever spouse may leave, as the peer pressure increases and as the negative publicity against the Truth increases, especially when persecution begins. If you are one of these, and Yâ-hwéh calls you to freedom by permitting your nonbelieving spouse to leave, rejoice, because you have lost a wife for His name's sake:

MattithYâ´huw 19: 29 "...And every one who has left brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, or houses for the sake of My name shall receive a hundredfold, and shall inherit stellar life;

20. But many of the first ones shall be the least, and many of the last shall be foremost."

Márquwç 10: 29 “’Âmë´n (certainly) I say to you, there is no one who has forsaken a house, or brothers, or sisters, or a father, or a mother, or a wife, or children, or lands, on account of Me and of the glad tidings

30. that shall not receive a hundredfold now, in this season: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, even amid persecutions, and endless life in the age that is coming!

31. Yet there are many of the first ones who shall be the least, and last ones who shall be foremost.

Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` as the Matchmaker

Interestingly, it should be very easy now in this time-period for our brothers to be paired with their believing spouse which Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` has in His mind for us, though the first impression might be, "How on earth will I find a believer in His true names to marry when we are so few?" Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` will bring you your spouse! Nothing is too difficult for Him. So take a step backwards and look at it from Yâ-hwéh's point of view (reality):

1) It is not a matter of "the odds" or "probabilities of finding a needle in a haystack". Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` LIVES and there is no such thing as random because He determines such things, and since a believer recognizes and acknowledges Him, He also recognizes and acknowledges believers in Him and indeed no one can even believe in His name without His favor. So if besides remembering you as a chosen one, He also provides for your food, clothing, and shelter, how do you figure He'd forget your important need to have your life-mate? So as He does not leave us nor forsake us, His good will for you is not a matter of probabilities, it's a matter of when and not if He will answer your prayers to be put together with your spouse, and He will permit that to happen at the best possible time for all concerned.

2) "Aren't the remnant supposed to be virgins? They can't be married" The virginity it speaks of is of undefilement by the deceived ones of this world, symbolized by women; it is not speaking of sexual virginity.  Here women are referred to in their spiritual sense as those ones in transgression due to being deceived, like Chauwâ´h was deceived, as mentioned in 1 Tim. 2: 14.

The 144,000 projected number of believers are only the ones which are counted, which are only males but does not include within that number the members of their houses which also will be saved (Deeds "Acts" 16: 31), meaning their one wife and dependent children living with them if they have them. In His point of view, census numbers count only males, that's why the `Ivríyth term zâkhâ´r for 'male' (Strong's #2145) is the same as 'remembered/recorded' (Strong's #2142). A wife is a co-inheritor with her husband and counted as a part of him, though we do see in scripture that a female who is alone could inherit. So though these are the rebuilt Virgin of Yisrâ’Ë´l, that does not mean they are single bachelors as some misinterpret scriptures.

3) "Why is it taking so long?" Yâ-hwéh wants you to be happy. If you've suffered up until now, it is because He had you under seige for you to seek Him (Yshá`Yâhuw 29:3 see context). If you walk in the Way pleasingly to Him, He has no reason to discipline you. And He has had the perfect spouse in His mind for you since before the foundation of the earth. But He also has had the perfect spouse in His mind for THAT person, which is to be YOU. Therefore, if you are not ready to BE the ideal spouse for THAT person, He is going to wait until you ARE ready. Isn't it logical then that you should strive unilaterally to become that ideal spouse as soon as possible so He can put you two together?

4) "How will I find him/her? Should I be searching?" Yâ-hwéh will actually bring him/her without your effort, and it will be in the context of Him, not by your own efforts and your own searches, so you know it is from Him and not your own efforts, and so there may be no doubt He sent him/her. Therefore, don't bother searching on your own. This is very difficult advice for some people to obey, it requires faith and trust in Him to not search, even though finding the right one, if He doesn't want it to happen yet, is truly impossible. Such a disobedient one is likely to err and defile themselves with a wrong choice. There is a common unscriptural saying which contributes to this mistake, that "[He] helps those who help themselves". It is very false. With Yâ-hwéh, He is not like that. Examine the following statements from Moshéh in Yâshâr 81 as examples, when the sons of Yisrâ'Ë´l were cornered against the Sea of Reeds by the advancing Mitsráyim:

“Fear not, stand still and see the salvation of Yâ-hwéh which He will effect this day for you.”

“Stand in your places, for Yâ-hwéh will fight for you, and you shall remain silent.”

“Remain in your stations and fear not, only call unto Yâ-hwéh that He may save you out of their hands.”

Does this seem we must put our own effort into it to have Him do something for us? On the contrary. Call on Him by name and stay in your place and trust in Him and watch Him do it when He decides it is the right time.

5) Pray for Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` to send you your spouse which He has in His will for you. We offer these instructions to provide an example on how to pray for this, a prayer which ’Eliyshéva` my wife used in order to have Yâ-hwéh send me to her, after preparing herself. Yâ-hwéh honored it and fulfilled it. She wrote to our brothers online:

"Consider using a private space where no one will disturb you. Before you pray, come clean before Him. Ask forgiveness for whatever sin you may have committed against Yâ-hwéh by the name of Yâhuwshúa`. As I have shared before, Yâ-hwéh is an intelligent being, so do not repeat the same prayer twice (but believe He will honor it) and be truthful in your prayer as He knows your heart. In a humble state (if that is on your knees or with open arms, etc.) petition a prayer like this:

[BONE OF MY BONES, PRAYER FOR LIFEMATE]

"Heavenly Father Yâ-hwéh, by the name of Yâhuwshúa`, the name above all names, I ask You to bring me the right mate. The mate who You have ordained for me before this world was formed. The other half of my being, who complements me and one who is pleasing to You. 

I pray he/she will be pleasing to look at but most of all that he/she will be beautiful inwards because he/she is in Your Spirit, handpicked by You. Yâ-hwéh You say the reason You created a fitting helper for ’Âthâ´m was because man should NOT be alone; I stand in agreement with what You say and I ask You to please favor me to prepare me to be worthy of Your vouching for me to him/her while You make him/her ready for me. Introduce us in Your perfect timing. I ask You to please help us recognize one another in our dreams. Father Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`, please release to be with me the one who is destined to be my helpmate in life and walk in the Way of Yâ-hwéh with me. 

Yâhuwshúa`, please send dreams to one another which reveal things about each other so when we meet we will know this is the one You, YÂ-HWÉH YÂHUWSHÚA`, has introduced us to. Draw us near in a certain way so we both will recognize this has been done by You. I thank You for Your daily blessings and I ask You to have mercy on me. I will wait for my life mate and not settle just for any mate but will be content and have the loyalty to wait for the best fitting helper who was ordained by You to be with me before this world was founded!

Thank You Father Yâ-hwéh for listening to my prayer and I will wait patiently for Your blessing to come.

-Your daughter/son (your name here)"

(This prayer was her own correction based loosely on another sample prayer which still can be found online by a predicator of a false name, one Elisabeth Sherrie.)

6) The process of elimination can help clear doubts. Realize also that His NOT wanting to pair you with a nonbeliever means necessarily that if you see someone you think might be the one, and you tell them about The Testimony and they do not believe you, that means they are NOT the one for you. But beware, because if you "lead the witness" by asking simple yes or no type questions, you may get a false positive, especially when there may be a language barrier. Testing their spirit requires open-ended questions which do not lead the witness. But it is important here to point out that in your witnessing to anyone of the opposite sex, you definitely want to prevent a conflict of interest: Keep your heart uninvolved and do not commit any interest or desire or show any intent to this person if you test them to see if they are favored to believe until and unless they have truly believed in the Truth, because you do not want to taint their testimony.

Exodus 23:8 And you shalt take no gift: for the gift blinds the seeing, and subverts the words of the righteous. (also Deuteronomy 16:19)

So no, don't offer yourself in exchange for their believing.

Clean up, prepare for a blessing!

These are the words I heard from Yâ-hwéh before He brought me my own believing wife who He chose for me, who truly is the biggest blessing I have received after His name. Apply these words also to yourself. A spouse should necessarily become totally intimate with you and will have no boundaries between you and her which may house secrets, he/she will have all your passwords and access to all your computers and living environment. Are you ready for that? You will want your future spouse to not become disappointed in you by what he/she finds! You must prepare for your future spouse by cleaning your house and computer(s) and your behavior from anything and everything which Yâ-hwéh tells you your new spouse would not approve of, for example, old relationships' souvenir materials and saved emails or worse, continuing communications (cut off any hope they may have, officially!), evidence of your searching for a spouse (e.g. matching/dating sites and their communications), any pornography of any sort (as a believer, you should not have this anyhow). So clean your computer, house, and your life like you are preparing for a serious inspection by someone who has authority over your body, because your spouse indeed shall (1 Qorinthiym 7:4) have that authority. In fact, in reality you should have already cleaned up this way beforehand for your First Love, Yâ-hwéh, when you repented from your sins. Make your life become such that you can be utterly truthful and completely open to your new spouse without it hurting him/her, and so anyone else she might speak with about you also will not hurt your new spouse.

How to prepare for your marriage

Before you have a marriage to a believer Yâ-hwéh gave you, you should become a mature believer, aware of what Yâ-hwéh expects you to know you are supposed to do from His instructions (Law). You are aware of the two greatest commandments:

MattithYâ´huw 22:37. And Yâhuwshúa` said to him: "'The foremost of all the commandments is: 'Hear, Yisrâ'Ë´l, Yâ-hwéh is your mighty Ones, Yâ-hwéh is One; [Márquwç 12: 29] and You shall love Yâ-hwéh your mighty Ones with all of your heart, and with all of your self , and with all of your effort.' [Deuteronomy 6: 4-5]

38. This one is the Greatest Commandment in the entire Law. And it is the Foremost,

39. Yet the second resembles this one; ‘[Do not seek revenge and do not bear a grudge against one of the sons of your people, and] you shall love your fellow as yourself[I am Yâ-hwéh!] [Leviticus 19: 18]

40. There is not another commandment greater than these.[Márquwç 12: 31] All of the Law and the predicators hinge on these two commandments."

Examine this other verse also:

Epheciym 5:25 Husbands: affectionately love your own wives, just as also the Anointed One affectionately loved the Convocation, and gave His Self [life] over for her...

And this statement too:

Romans 12:9 Let affectionate love be unfaked, utterly detesting evil, sticking to good,

10. In brotherly love towards one another, being fraternal; in esteem, preferring each other;

And finally this one:

MattithYâ´huw 5:43 Ye have heard that it was said‘You shall love your fellow’  [Leviticus 19: 18] - so hate your enemy.”

44. But I say to you, affectionately love your enemies, speak well of those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who falsely accuse you and persecute you!

Taken together, we can formulate a proper numerical order for loving. It means we are to love Yâ-hwéh first and foremost over everything and everyone. Then we are to love our wife more than our own selves, which means we are to love our wife second most of all. Then we are to love our fellow (a fellow believer as explained by the parable of the good Shomroniy) as much as ourselves, that puts self-love in a tie for third, with suggestions that we should be willing to give our lives for our brothers (1 Yâhuwchânâ´n 3: 16) which means that in a tie-breaker, self-love would lose to love for our brothers in Him. Lastly fourth, we have love for our enemies to the degree Yâhuwshúa` says, though we see it written that are to favor our brothers over them in love.

Having any of these in the incorrect order is an error which leads to sin.

What is the greatest love of all?

Let Yâhuwshúa` our Sovereign Who gave His life for us (and rose again) answer that:

Yâhuwchânâ´n 15: 13. No one has greater affectionate love than this: that One should lay down His Self (life) for His friends.

Isn't it despicable that self-love is trumpeted by this world as 'the greatest love of all', when it is actually very evil when it surpasses one's love for our fellow man, and worse when it surpasses one's love for one's wife, and worst of all when it surpasses one's love for Yâ-hwéh? Self-love means selfishness and lack of consideration for those other than oneself. Self-love, since you obey who you love the most, means to be disobedient to those you love less. Self-love since you trust and believe who you love the most, means to be reliant on your own understanding and proud. Self-love's lowest form is self-preservation, which if we hold it over our love for Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`, it would lead us to prefer ourselves to deny Him or His name to save our skins, an action which makes us unworthy of Him (MattithYâ´huw 10:37-39, 16:25, Luwqá’ 9:24, 17:33, Yâhuwchânâ´n 12:25). Pride was the sin of Sâţâ’n, which helps explain why self-preference (self-love) is despicable. Society has various obscene terms for such persons who put self-love in first place, but let's only mention a few which are not obscene: narcissistic, egotistical, selfish, self-regarding, self-centered, jerk. Would such a person be capable of succeeding at marriage?

In the context of marriage, when preparing for one's future spouse, one must put these loves in the proper order, and apply this order to one's life. Here's how it applies:

1) Husbands, you must obey Yâ-hwéh over your wife because you love Him more than your wife. You each will believe what He says more than what your spouse says, if your spouse says something against what He says. Your union is founded on Him, our Rock, so it should stay on Him to weather the storms, center it on Him. Remember what our Sovereign says regarding separation from your spouse, in MattithYâ´huw 19:4-6

...“Haven’t ye read, from “In the Beginning” (Genesis), that the Maker made them male and female;[Genesis 1: 27] And said: ‘On account of this a man shall leave his father and his mother and he will unite to his woman, and they will be for a flesh united.’  [Genesis 2: 24] So therefore they are no longer two fleshes, rather a flesh united.  Therefore what Yâ-hwéh coupled together, man cannot separate.

Take this to heart. Stay in Him and let everything you do and say to your spouse be as Yâ-hwéh would do or say, imitating Yâhuwshúa`, and He will keep your spouse at peace with you.

Remember that evil spirits desire to destroy your union but they cannot, and if worst comes to worst, Yâ-hwéh will restore your union later, because all the works of the adversary will be undone [1 Yâhuwchânâ´n 3: 8]. But you yourself please realize, and inform your spouse also, that Yâ-hwéh would never separate your union, it is not Him Who tries to do that, and any spirit suggesting separation is not from Him, so if either of you two hear idea suggestions to separate, rebuke and banish the evil spirit by the name of Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`.

Other things which competing evil spirits will mislead you to do include counterproductive behaviors mediated by blinding emotions other than Love. Ya`aqóv 3:2 says a completely developed man is one who does not stumble in expression. Therefore you should make it a rule for yourself to never raise your voice against your spouse, and to remove all use of profanity from the lips of both of you, at all times (except during sexual moments). Never insult your spouse, you will have to apologize. Learn to separate the action from the person and describe the action accurately without accusing the person. It is better to never say anything negative and express yourself with positive statements. Never use threats or intimidation against your spouse, it is not from Yâ-hwéh.

Make it "not an option" in your range of behavior to use physical violence, EVER. If you've been conditioned to use it, deprogram yourself and uproot it by recognizing its source from where you learned it. A person using violence becomes the person who is wrong even if he/she has been right in everything preceding it. These are just a few examples of the things to avoid being misled to do.

2) Husbands, loving your wife more than yourself means that you will put her needs and her desires OVER your own, those of your fellow believers, and over those of nonbelievers you may consider friends. You will favor her more than yourself, meaning you will be considerate of her and anticipate her needs before she needs to inform you herself, because a humble wife might not ask you to do this, and it counts more coming spontaneously from the Love He gives you to transmit. If you are doing a good job at this, she will get accustomed to it. This goes beyond chivalry and gentlemanly manners which even the nonbelieving society knows how to do, so you should reckon those as a baseline you should maintain beyond courtship, always. But beyond that,

- It also means learning manly tasks to maintain your house and not require to hire people to do something you could do.

- It also means being capable and willing to do all household tasks commonly delegated to women, so you can give her respite and rest trusting you with those tasks when she is indisposed, or simply to prevent it from becoming overwhelming.

- It also means never embarrassing her, especially in front of others, for she is your honor! Do not make her your shame. Many things could embarrass her, avoid doing them. Common examples include appearing to show interest in another female especially in her presence, behaving like a nonbeliever, revealing your troubles with her or complaining about her to anyone else other than Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`, favoring anyone else over her including same-sex friends, correcting her in front of others, and this gets into the next paragraph:

3) Loving her more than any other person on earth including yourself means you will NOT have "buddies", especially nonbelieving ones, as an individual because you two are now a union and you are not an individual. That may sound unusual, but see the reality: Yâ-hwéh does not see one without the other, saying they are no longer two fleshes, rather a flesh united.

Therefore you will not have a group of male friends who can exert peer pressure on you (as it is always for evil), or have a "boys' night out" which excludes her and shows you prefer the company of others to hers, you will not have a "man cave" which harbors tastes and activities you do not share with her, instead you will share all the house and share as much of your fun as you can with her.

We need to focus here on these poisonous concepts we just mentioned to expose the villany in them. "Boys' night out" and especially a "man cave" are the open admission that a man has only faked becoming a better person in order to trap his wife, and reserves a known area or time to continue being the unmarried, inconsiderate, unimproved, self-loving, misogynistic (woman-hating) childish person thriving on his separation from his own wife. A husband or believer who maintains a practice of "boys' night out" or a "man cave" has NOT cleaned house and continues maintaining a dark side, a spiritual portal open for evil spirits to separate the marriage, giving a concession to practices which destroy the union.

Instead, make her be your best friend and intimate confidante and the one who is in charge of fielding all your carnal needs. No one else should enjoy you calling them your "best friend". No one else should know a secret she does not know. Remind her how important she is to you, and whenever any positive thought which concerns her might come up in your mind, share it with her as often as it does, especially that you love her. Do not let that go unsaid. But also let it not be merely verbal.

Because you love her more than yourself, you will maintain full disclosure to her because you will not maintain an area of your life hidden or private anymore, and this is possible to make a practice because you will not sin anymore because Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` is your mighty Ones and your Sovereign. You thus will be happy to give her the intimacy of open free access to all your email accounts and social media accounts, etc., etc. She should reciprocate and do the same. You will also build her trust in you by never having private conversations with a person of the opposite sex without her presence or permission or knowledge, as much as is within your power, by your own volition. And when and if some evil spirit sends an ex to attempt communication with you or any female to come onto you, inform your wife as soon as possible, lest she find out before you tell her, for it may seem that you desired to keep it hidden from her. Yâ-hwéh gave her a female mind to counsel you on what to respond to them to most effectively defuse the situation, and her participation will edify her trust in you. Do not dishonor Yâ-hwéh by disappointing her when He has vouched for you to her.

4) Never betray the one Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa` gave you with another woman in any way, not even in your mind, as this is committing adultery in your heart as evil spirits DO hear what you think and study you to learn your weaknesses and capitalize on this to lead you astray. Some men think what goes on in their head is kept private as if it were their "man cave"... not so! Do you realize that 'intimacy with a stranger' is a contradiction, an oxymoron, and a grave error? Committing adultery with another woman is to love an enemy of your house more than your spouse, and is a sin. Do not concede any attention to the spirits misleading you towards this and rebuke them by the name of Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`. To avoid adultery of the heart, among other sins of the heart, remember that He is with you always and examines your heart and discerns your thoughts and intents [`Ivríym 4: 12]. And pretend your spouse also could hear your thoughts, and that should also help keep you in line with what's correct. Besides this, keep your mind immersed in prayer in His name, and this is truly repellent to evil spirits. This will help nip any possibilities of sin in the bud.

Never lie to your spouse. If you maintain all your behavior and heart clean, this will be easy to do, and years of honesty will also help to build her trust. If you are wrong or did wrong, admit it and apologize immediately, even if the other hasn't or won't. Never hesitate to do so because pride is wrong. It is written to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slower to wrath. So do not be impulsive, be the rock of the relationship, a model of Yâ-hwéh Yâhuwshúa`, unchanging in your goodness. Be circumspect to examine the potential consequences of all you do before doing it. Realize that all the negative vengeful or retributory behaviors you may be suggested to take against your spouse will only be counterproductive in their consequences, and work against fixing the problem. Overcome evil with goodness [Romans 12: 21]. Be forgiving. Deal with your spouse using wisdom, and PRAY for His help and His wisdom to do the right thing for the one He gave to you. Favor her over yourself.

5) Never give the appearance of favoring any other female over your wife. This embarrasses your wife, and can cause trouble. What this refers to is what are often unwitting mistakes, things men usually are not aware will embarrass one's wife. It is useful to consult with one's own wife regarding what her view and desires are, to understand it better. One good example of ways a gentle man with no bad intent can unintentionally offend his wife is by showing teeth at another woman in a smile. Avoiding this will help a man avoid being falsely accused of flirting. Though he may not have any malice in his heart he should not show teeth when he smiles at other women because women know that showing teeth is a signal which manipulative men ("players") do to communicate that he is available and accessible for them, just ask, thus it is flirtatious. Such men may smile with no teeth at other women when accompanied with their wife, but show teeth to the same other women when not accompanied by their wife.

If you are an unmarried person and want to communicate to a believer of the opposite sex that you are interested in them, smile with no teeth at everyone except this particular person, show teeth to that person when you smile.

Cultivate your marriage.

You will see why these things are so if you examine Epheciym 5:28-30

28. Thus ought those husbands to affectionately love their own women as their own bodies, for he who affectionately loves his own woman loves his self.

29. For no one ever hates his own body, rather nourishes and cherishes it, just as also the Anointed One the Convocation,

30. because we are members of His body, from His flesh and from His bones.  [from Genesis 2: 23]

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